God Equips You

     The past few months have brought lots of rain here in Texas.  I can't remember the last time I have seen so much water.  The only problem I have had at my place is huge pot holes in my driveway.  During all the rain, I decided to build a horse barn the first of May ( oh, well).  I am so excited to finally finish this so I can move all of my things out of storage and have them at one location.  Maybe by the end of this year, I will be organized.  I can at least hope:)
     I have had an increased amount of yard work with all this rainfall, and seem to spend at least a whole day mowing and weed eating.  The other day during weed eating, I thought about how I am blessed.  Not to be weed eating, but blessed to know how to do the jobs I have to do being alone.  I always told God since loosing Phil, that he needed to have given me about a six month notice to let Phil teach me some more things.  I realized I know how to accomplish anything I need to do.  I can operate and grease the tractor, do minor repairs on my zero turn mower, blower, and weed eater.  I can fix things in the house, and have come to love WD-40.  I can paint, fix fence, put up electric fence, even shave my dog to save money (that was a huge undertaking that I wouldn't advise).  The best thing is with technology, I can "You Tube" or "Google" instructions on anything.  God did give me the knowledge I needed to get through this time.  I don't know why that came as such as shock for me, but I am moving forward.
     I still have my lonely times, like today, but have come to the conclusion to embrace this time.  I just recently returned from a quick trip with a friend, which gave me some much needed confidence.  This trip showed me that I can travel without a husband.  With GPS, I can go anywhere I need to go.  Upon returning home, I finally had the epiphany that I am going to be happy during this time of my life.  No, it is not what I wanted, dreamed of, or thought would ever happen.  If God would have asked me, I would have told Him that I wasn't strong enough for this.  Being the Creator of me, He knew I was.  He was well aware that I could make it through these days with Him.  If God has the confidence in me to do this, then I will have it too.  I want to enjoy my kids during this time, and have some fun.  They are growing so quickly, and I have to grow too.  Grow in strength, understanding, and motivation to step out and move on without Phil.  I will always love him and miss him, but I have to do this without him and raise our children how we wanted.  Raising them strong in the Lord and teach them as much as I possibly can, before I embarrass them and they don't want me around:)


Philippians 3:13-14: "Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.  But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

"The carefree life of my dog"