Open Your Eyes

     I  have just started a Bible study over the book "Lies Women Believe" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.  The first chapter has been truly eye opening for me.  I have been going through a lot of uncertainty and depression over how my life has turned out.  When you get used to life the way it was for so long, and then it completely changes, it really takes some getting used to.  I love my children and enjoy the laughter they bring to my life, but felt so lonely once they were in bed.  I have realized my pain and loneliness is only the Devil trying to get at me.  Yes, my life has changed drastically, but it's not over.  I have found a peace with life.  It may not be what I had dreamed of, but I have a good life.  Two wonderful kids, great parents, loving sisters and brother-in-laws, awesome friends, a church that loves us,  much better than I deserve.  God has provided and all I have been doing is feeling so sorry for what I didn't have.
     I also have decided to try and give light into other lives.  It may be just a smile, but I need to be about my Father's business.  I don't know how long before He comes, but I want to give back to those in need of a few blessings.  Death does not have to be the end.  Those living can make it what you choose.  If you want to be a sad, depressed, hurt individuals the rest of your life, then get ready to be alone.  Who wants to be with a person that hates life?  I want my kids to remember their childhood with fondness.  Their mom was awesome and had a bunch of fun.  Not that their mom closed up into a shell after their dad passed away.  I choose to teach them about tent camping.  (one of Phil's favorite activities)  Not necessarily my favorite, but Phil would only take us when it was too cold to be pleasant.    I want them to know how to do things in the woods.  How to start fires with kindling.  I may be goggling a bunch of things, but here goes nothing.  I have opened my eyes!

           
                               
               
                "Open my eyes so I can examine the wonders of your Instruction." - Psalm 199:18