A New Calmness

      I don't know why my best thinking time always happens in my truck between my house and my parents.  Maybe because my kids are being somewhat quiet listening to their favorite Christian music, or because there is road work on my route.  Here lately it has added an extra 15 minutes of sitting still and waiting on the little pilot car to take you through the construction.  Whatever the reason, a little over a month ago it finally hit me.  Calmness.  I felt normal again.  Not just normal but I was enjoying my day.  I noticed my laughter was coming back, and I had actually gone a day or two without remembering my loss.

     For a brief second I thought this isn't right.  How can it be there one day so strongly and not the next?  What have I done differently?  Then, it was like I just knew the answer.  I had been praying for this for such a long time.  I wanted to feel like myself again and not hurt like this anymore.  God had answered my prayer.  Why had I ever doubted He would?  I guess this hurt was so great, I had somewhat thought it would never truly go away.  Yes, I still have sad moments and miss my husband and friend, but I really feel like life is finally looking up.  Now I smile and I mean it. 

Philippians 4:7 "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

                                                    

                   My sister's dog, Patch, enjoying the day and closing his eyes because of the breeze.