Little God Signs

     I am less than a week away from being the one year mark since my husband, Phil, went to be with the Lord.  I have to say that I am somewhat relieved to be coming up on a full 365 days.  It has been hard, and there were days when I thought I wasn't going to see another year, but I almost have made it.  I still would give anything to see him or get a "Phil hug", but I am so much closer to our Lord and Savior than I was a year ago.  God is giving me the much needed strength to get through this.  It is totally amazing to realize that even through the toughest possible loss, I am making it day by day and getting stronger.  Not to say my brain is back on the up and up, that might take a miracle.  (Not to mention my Mom reminded me there is dementia on both sides of my family.  I told her that was great, because with this loss and stress, I was bound to get it.)  All I can say is hopefully the Lord will come back before I truly go crazy!
     I have experienced some of the neatest God signs over my year.  Just when I think I am going to crater, I see something that encourages me.  For instance, the other day as I was about to turn into my driveway, about 10 cardinals flew right in front of my truck.  One of my most favorite God signs is my front door.  As we were building our house before Phil became sick, I found this door and had to have it.  This door was the one item that just grabbed my attention.  As I was moving into my new home after the funeral, I noticed why this door was so special.  I came into my living room and saw 3 brightly lit crosses on my wall.  The sun was shining through the window on my door lighting the design on the living room wall.  For the first time, I saw the 3 crosses.  It was like God was reminding me that He was there walking with me through my pain.  He knows what pain is, and I just needed to trust that He will take care of me.  Every time after that when I see the crosses, I just smile.

"If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me."

Matthew 16:24