Special Christmas Message

     This year, Christmas seemed to come and go fairly fast.  I thought this would be a day more painful than any other day so far, but it wasn't.  My kids did great and never shed one tear.  I caught my son praying in the truck Christmas Eve.  He didn't know that I could hear him over the radio.  He said, "Dear God, please tell my Daddy that I love him and wish he could come visit us".  Of course, I cried the rest of the way home.  Just turned up the radio and he never knew.  

     I went through Christmas day full of regular festivities and rocked on through till the evening.  Before I went to bed, I started praying about this whole year.  How I could use a word or something to help figure out and cope with my loss.  I opened my Bible to Jeremiah 29:11.  "For I know what I have planned for you, says the Lord.  I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you.  I have plans to give you a future filled with hope."  I love this verse, but I just needed more.  Then I felt like the Lord finally let me know why Phil died and was not healed.  If God had healed Phil, then He wouldn't have been able to touch as many lives as He did impact with calling Phil home.  I know Phil's death has touched many.  People prayed for him all over the world.  For many weeks and months after Phil's death, we would hear of amazing stories of the impact it had on people's lives.  I think realizing that you may not have tomorrow was one lesson many of our friends saw first hand.  A man in his thirties, in good health, can be taken in just three short weeks from the flu.  Calling one believer home, can impact and save many.  God would rather have saved many plus having Phil home, than healing Phil and loosing those souls.                         

     Also, the Lord showed me that sometimes He answers prayer to benefit best the 

loved one who is suffering.  Yes, He knew that I wanted Phil healed, but Phil was so sick and would have had disabilities.  Phil would not have been happy if he was not able to provide for his family.  He was a man of great strength and compassion for people.  He loved his family and especially his children.  A man who went on dates with his daughter, and would take his son on special outings just to see a smile.  He wanted to teach his kids how to be children of God.  He never met a stranger and always helped a friend in need.  Also, he knew how to do absolutely anything.  From changing a toilet out, leading someone to the Lord, riding a horse, building a house, and managing a business.  I never witnessed anything he didn't know how or figured out how to accomplish.  Knowing the happiness his work gave him, I feel certain that him not being able to accomplish those same goals would have broken his heart.  If his disabilities had taken his mobility, not holding his children would have broken his spirit.  

     After having this special time with the Lord, I felt my heart let go a heavy burden.  I knew finally that I had done everything possible and it wasn't my fault.  God had called Phil home and it didn't matter the circumstances or the doctors.  Nothing could have changed that or God's plans.  I am going to "Just Slide" and keep putting one foot in front of the other.