Today is the first Father's Day since I lost my husband. I had several people asking me this past week what I was going to do today. I wanted to hide my head under my pillow and never get out of bed. Unfortunately, with small children that is not an option. I decided to face my fears and go to church. If it wasn't this Father's Day, then I would have to face it next year. I did really good, until my children were dismissed to Children's Church. Our Pastor began to talk about Fathers and went into several stories. I felt it getting harder and harder to swallow. I could also feel my eyes getting blurry. I thought to myself, no, I am not going to cry today. I prayed that God would help me get through this service or I was going to have to leave. All of the sudden, I felt like there were many people sitting next to me. The pew was empty next to me in this world, but I know that Angels were sitting there beside me. I could feel the Holy Spirit surrounding me, and I made it through the service without one tear. I felt overjoyed!!
The day isn't over yet, but I have a renewed strength. I did talk with my children on the ride to church this morning. I wanted them to remember that even though they didn't have a physical earthly Father anymore, they had a heavenly Father who will fill our void. Psalms 68:5 says, "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling." Please rely on God during the difficult holidays. I know He is and will continue to help me with the rest of today.
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